Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The story of the 26-year "manfast"

Today, October 13th, I am another year older. The big 2-6.  As my brother put it, "in your 2nd quarter of a century."  Thanks, Blake.

As a little girl, I thought that, by now, I would be married or at least about to be.  I often thought, "26 would be a good age to get married," and it still could happen.  But, alas, I have been unintentionally fasting from men for 26 years.

Yes.  I am that girl.  The one who has never had a boyfriend or really even been on a date.  I am not a freak.  Nor am I weird or socially awkward.  I'm pretty darn cute, too.  But, no guy has ever asked.  Therefore, I've never dated.  Not that I haven't wanted to.  Oh, there have been times throughout my life that there was this "one guy" who fascinated me.  I would hope upon hope that he could be interested in me.  But, apparently not.  Not that I ever knew, at least.

I thought for years that there must be something wrong with me.  That it wasn't fair.  That I was missing out in some way.  That God didn't care.  But, now that I am older, I know myself a little better.  I know now that He was protecting me all along.  He knew my heart better than I did.  If one of those guys along the years had actually reciprocated interest, I would not have been able to experience some of the amazing things that God has allowed me to experience.  Like going to The University of Georgia, perhaps.  Like living in South Asia for two years.

You see.  I am that girl.  The hopeless romantic.  If just one of those guys had expressed interest, I would have been head over heels, done for and so attached to a man that I probably would have neglected my relationship with my Savior.  I, honestly, would have chosen that man over the Lord. And, God knew that.  And I am so thankful for that.  I look back and see that my life has been filled with love and joy, acceptance and encouragement, fun and adventure.  It has been fulfilling and satifying.

No man will ever be able to provide that security and fulfillment.

Yes.  I long to be married.  And, one day I am sure I will be.  But, for now, the Lord is molding and shaping me into the kind of woman He wants me to be. The kind of woman that will prioritize her relationships, putting Jesus first.  

I pray often for my future husband.  There are really only three qualities that I ask God to give me in my future husband.  1.  He must never love me more than he loves Jesus.  2.  He must know God's Word in order to lead, teach and correct me and our future family from it.  3.  He must have a desire to adopt.  I believe that Lord will honor these prayers.

There are times I struggle with patience, with contentment and, honestly, with jealousy.  I, in my flesh, am ready for that season of my life to begin.  But, I know He has His best for me.  And until then I'll " joyful always; pray continually give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will {for me} in Christ Jesus (1Thessalonians 5:18-18, emphasis mine)."

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